Food for the Lazy Brat

There are times when you just feel extremely lazy but at the same time entitled to gourmet food. You think you deserve better than cheetos or satisfying your hunger with mere instant noodles, and somehow you just read Paul Lafargue’s “The Right to be Lazy“. Yes, the bastard in you is bloating your sense of entitlement, thinking “Well, even if I’ll find myself stranded on a deserted island, or even orbiting another planet on board the L2 Colony, I still deserve restaurant quality food without going to the restaurant and paying for it. Nor will I work hard for it.” OH, SHAME ON YOU! But this is how I feel almost everyday so give me a high five!

There are a couple of insta-food hacks that have come out of my indolent brain lately that I have been attentive enough to capture before consumption. I do have to admit to my readers that my default mode for cooking is boiling, not frying. Not everyone would prefer boiled (and steamed) over fried food, and I suspect that how this became my preferred method of making things edible is because of the following reasons :

  • I do not like touching greasy and sticky things
  • When frying, the hot oil usually splatters all over the place causing much pain and a disgusting stove which I will be too lazy to clean
  • Efficiency in the number of things needed to cook food – 1 pot, 1 bowl, 1 knife, 1 fork &/or spoon are usually enough to get a dish done
  • One cannot put anything frozen directly into hot oil, but you can usually put it in a pot of boiling water
  • The probability of burning your food is reduced astronomically
  • I can cut many types of vegetables (celery, herbs, spinach, cabbages, tofu?, etc), mushrooms, & root crops (potatoes, carrots, etc) into chunks right over the pot and not use a chopping board (not recommended for clumsy people)
  • It is satisfying to think about the order & timing in which to dump an ingredient into a pot

Here’s something that I did an hour ago :

Microwave Masterpiece
Microwave Masterpiece

I did it entirely in the microwave because the stove ran out of gas. Took me around 5 minutes to make it.

  • Frozen Spinach
  • Frozen Fish Tofu
  • Frozen Shiitake Mushrooms
  • Packed Fresh Noodles (not the dry type)
  • Shiro Miso
  • Gochujang
  • Sesame Oil
  • Bonito Flakes

In a cup, grab a fistful of frozen spinach, 3-5 pcs of frozen shiitake mushrooms, & 2-3 pcs frozen fish tofu straight out of your freezer. Add 1/4 cup of water & make sure everything is moistened. Microwave for 1 minute. On a plate, place the microwaved veggie mix including the “soup”, and mix in 1 ts shiro miso, 1/2 ts sesame oil, & 1/2 ts gochujang (and your choice of seasoning). Place the fresh noodles over it and mix well. Microwave again for another minute. Mix again & top with bonito flakes. Eat. Share bonito flakes with cat.

Here’s another one made stove-top (do not microwave your clay pot!) :

Insta-Kawaii Hotpot
Insta-Kawaii Hotpot

This one, made last week, required a bit more thinking since I made the stock (kombu dashi) myself, but all in all took me around 20 mins to make (including the veggie-washing) since it takes more time to bring water to a boil in a clay pot over fire.

I also use a lot of Italian pasta in my indolent menu. It cooks in about 8-15 minutes depending on the type of pasta, the method of cooking it is through boiling it, and almost anything goes for the sauce or topping. Its perfect! My ultimate lazy pasta is cooked spaghetti + olive oil + capers + dried tomatoes + dried anchovies. Another is cooked spaghetti + microwaved bacon + [1 (2:1 egg yolks : whole egg) + 3/4 grated parmigiano reggiano] + dried oregano seasoning. Both of which are ready as soon as the pasta is ready. If we start colonising other planets, we should bring a decade’s worth of pasta per expedition member and make it the staple food for space explorers. Seriously!

If you think my laziness has made me avoid cooking with meat, you are half right. I do cook meat, but only if I remember to get freshly sliced meat on my way home. Keeping meat more than 3 days in the freezer makes the alarm bells of my clean-freak self go off. But if you need proof that a meaty dish is possible in the indolent food menu, here’s Runny Runny 999‘s video of NikuJaga for dorm students :

Remember that laziness & indolence is the mother of invention. 😛

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